Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
