operation harelip BJ is a go
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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