You just made me feel so damn special
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
