Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it's like iHOP with fire
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
