I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
