It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
