me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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