At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
