He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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