It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
