You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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