But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
