I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
