How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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