My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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