Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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