'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize