Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
