Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
