i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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