the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
