Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
