sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
