I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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