i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
