Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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