So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
