Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
did you just send me my own nude
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
