I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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