I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
