i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
