Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
