Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
