Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
