It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize