Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
