He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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