Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
