You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
