Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
