She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
