i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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