great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize