we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
