I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
