I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
