My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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