How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize