I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
