Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
