Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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