Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
