As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
