I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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