I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
