I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
