did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
