How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
