It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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