well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize