i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
