we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
