this beer tastes like vomit already
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
