dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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