just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
