Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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