my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
