I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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