I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
