I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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