just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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