I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
