i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
