If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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