i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
