Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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